Backbone issue again…

Well as anyone around me would have now known I have many concerns about my job. Being tempted repeatedly about sending my “last warning letter” to the company by the progressing stress level is really getting into me. It feels like I had put in my best effort yet being stepped all over it and thrown into the dustbin.

The thing is that I had not even send my “counselling letter” and any of the “warning letter”, I had now considering giving my “last warning letter”. This makes up the whole no backbone matter while throughout this I do not have the guts in enough to stand up for myself.

And here comes my last draw, when I was told that I was required to go back to work when I was already very convinced that I was on leave… And of cos I had to turn down and continue to put myself on leave.

And so it had become a hurling of long smses sending back and forth between my manager and myself, like this:

Manager: Ash, pls explain why u take urgent leave as u told me that union cxl n u didnt ask me 2 put u on leave as i’m on leave which i told u it is good as i’ve enough people. We hv heavy arr 60 rms on mon 15. Pls come bak 2 work if not ur friends r suffer ’cause need 2 work bak 2 bak badly. Thks.

Me: Well initially it was already a requested leave which was later changed to union leave. Even without union i needed to be off from work. I figured you wld have put me back on leave but it was not the case. I also did mention tat i wld see you nxt friday last week on thurs so i presume you’ve heard and understood i have been placed on leave as did earlier. If i could come back to work i would. however i was very convinced that i’m on leave and have made plans which are already part of my obligation now. It would not be possible to terminate my plans now. I’m sorry tat they wld need to do back to back. I seek for your understanding.

Manager: I talked 2 u on wed when i know that union is 4 next month. I’ve told u that it is good that i can cxl it as i’m on leave n u think i would know that if u not go union, then u wil go on leave when u not telling me during our conversation!

Me: The conversation did not happen with you telling me that it was good you have it cancelled. The last thing was jus me informing you that they have changed the dates. Since it was not made known to me, i suppose any new changes to the schedule should be made clear to me because the fact tat i have first requested the leave was effective.

Manager: I understand tat union is important n without paper support i stil honor 2 put it but when it change, u need 2 info me as i did roster 4 all of us not just remember only u. U think i can remember ur leave after change fr one 2 another. U hv 2 chk ur roster not presuming as no one key in d e-leave yet, so roster can amened accordingly 2 occ as u aware,right. Whee I try not 2 change or kajiao anyone but ur 2 colleagues stil working til 3am n start work at 7am n need 2 change off day.if i’m in s’pore, ofcourse i’l go right away. However thing happened,so its lesson learn

I did not reply subsequently because what she had replied back had become all irrelavant. The lesson learnt was not about just making sure that she hear me right but also me standing up for myself. I could not have successfully typed out these smses without my dear brother’s help.

In the name of the Lord, I pray for wisdom, strength and backbone! I would stand up like a warrior. I will overcome these by the faith I have in my father! Keep me safe in this crazy world!

~ by lovereal on June 15, 2009.